Braai with family in Pretoria; Why go to South Africa?

(Barbara Wilcox) Visitors to Gauteng province's marquee sights -- Soweto, the Apartheid Museum, the Lion Park and more -- might consider staging out of nearby Pretoria rather than Johannesburg itself. It's smaller, safer and more walkable. And because they're home to embassies and South Africa's Union Buildings, Pretoria's better neighborhoods are immune from the rolling outages that afflict the rest of the country as it struggles to extend electricity to all its 58 million residents.

Our stroll in Pretoria's Hatfield neighborhood led us to @L, a new gay bar opened in April 2008 (526 Duncan St.; 5 p.m.-8 a.m.; no cover). The atmosphere is burger-joint casual. Owner Jaco runs down the agenda: Tuesday is karaoke night; Friday themes vary. A braai (that's South African for "barbeque") is featured Sundays at 4 p.m.; Saturday, Jaco says, is "chill night."

We happened on @L so soon it hadn't gotten its sign. "Say it's opposite Speedy Exhaust," Jaco advises. "Everyone will be able to find it then." The 12-foot rainbow flags flanking the entrance should provide another clue ...

We stayed at the gay-friendly Whistletree Lodge in nearby Queenswood (1276 Whistletree Drive, Queenswood, Pretoria; R600-1,300; 012-333-9915;), whose contemporary exterior belies an over-the-top 19th-century interior stoked by the owner's 30-year antiquing passion. Each of the 12 rooms explicates one chapter in a storied Anglo-Boer love affair (British troops were once stabled on the property). Dinner is available on request, the gardens are expansive, and a staggering breakfast is included.

As elsewhere in South Africa, much Pretoria nightlife, including gay and lesbian nightlife, and shopping takes place in well-guarded mega-malls. Go to gaysouthafrica.net for info on the latest venues. Hatfield and Arcadia offer a pedestrian-friendly outdoor alternative, safe for all travelers during daylight hours. Modern Art Project (mapzar.org) lists galleries and shops in these and other Pretoria and Johannesburg neighborhoods.

I ventured into Johannesburg only to see the Apartheid Museum and Soweto -- sights not to be missed. But I have to admit the central city gave me a post-apocalyptic thrill. Much of it is abandoned -- and has been for so long that trees are growing out of the buildings. The white elite, years ago, decamped to suburbs north and built essentially a parallel city. At night, one of the two skylines disappears.

Raised as I was in Los Angeles, segregated de facto by economics and a welter of freeways, home to two race riots in my lifetime alone, dependent on imported water, power and labor, I couldn't miss the parallels between South Africa and the United States. Which society is more honest in facing its challenges? Which proffers more equality? Hmmm. The more we travel, the more we're forced to look at ourselves.